Thursday, September 10, 2009

. break of Reality .

Episode 1 . the overture .

The tiny vial seemed to rebel inside his clenched fist, throbbed like it had a heart beat.
“It needs to be done, I cannot and will not live like this anymore.”
He almost threw the bottle away, but instead the arm swept a smooth arc and it landed right side up on the counter, where it sat, still throbbing, as if feeding on the life-energy around it.
“two drops should do it”
 The first one fell even before he realized and the next one seemed freeze/just abowe/the#rioovktye#cup.
His vision misted.
*Those eyes* How he loved to seek them out amongst a hundred other familiar ones, how they’d widen, first with alarm, then annoyance and then soften with affectionate reproach before looking away.
There was always trust in them, trust and hope, but even those could not hide the streak of pride than ran behind.
and when they held hands for the first time, far away from the inquisitive looks, those tender fingers spoke of love, acceptance and longing.

It wasn’t soon before they built their cocoon and filled it with laughter, lattes , love and lazy afternoon conversations.
And it wasn’t too soon before it started.

It was low then, like the rumble before a engine fires up, but steadily it kicked into life and with it the disagreements, the fierce monologues and the scorching silences. It permeated every living second. The days disappeared under intense activity and the nights into forced resignation.
He saw it coming, he even asked to be left alone, repeatedly, so that they both could find some peace. But each time that defiant pride mowed him down.
And now it had to come to this.
“Raghav, I’m home. Are you in the kitchen? I smell lasagna”
Raghav wiped his hands with a fresh tissue and threw it into the dustbin where the empty bottle lay bleeding the last few drops of its vile blood into a old dishcloth.

Read the whole story here

30 smoke wisps:

Shamanth said...

Oh how beautifully can someone write a prose in such a lyrical and a mystic way!!!

What I love is the intensity of emotions carried by the words so gracefully.

And as far as the story goes, I wonder what Raghav is upto with the "vile" and "it had come to this"!!!
Let me keep my guesses to myself till we are offered the rest of the story.

PULKIT said...

written like a perfectionist but aint this one a perfect prose ending itself? have endings in prose writing and reading for me is mostly my most prefered taste! 5:29 AM is the posting time here... a sleepless writer, very intresting! waking up early to write or not sleepin till then, what case is it?
the prose was a real good one, I loved reading it... I wonder what lies ahead...

slash\\ said...

Can't hardly wait.

Akshata said...

Could murder to not have had the cliffhanger! :-@

Amit414@IT-BHU said...

beutifully written...
your words completely reflects the ambiance of discription...

Zlaek said...

I want to see what you're going to do with this here onward...
Needless to say, the intensity in the emotional graph supported by your narrative is astonishing... And the transition is spoken about so convincingly.


As the Mind Meanders said...

Hmmm... I wonder where you will take this now... there does not seem to be enough incentive for murder or even suicide... And we twist... we twist... we twis... we twi...

Mystic said...

beautiful writing.. the emotions have been smothered really gracefully... m following this up..!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Oh lord, this was written so beautifully! Looking forward to the next one, and keeping my guesses to myself... for some reason, I'm expecting an anti-climax of sorts :S

Aparna said...

When are you going to post the next episode?
Waiting with bated breath. Already I have developed the story on my mind, lets see if it matches yours.

Piper .. said...

excellent piece!! You have a beautiful way with words! Cant wait for the next part..

BrownPhantom said...

I swear I had posted a comment on this brilliant piece 4-5 days ago. Blogger ate it :(.

Well, here goes again. It was an amalgamation of the comments above. I liked the twist towards the end. Let's see where you take us.

Bullshee said...

Tell me what this means.

I like the language construction though!

mikimbizi said...

Brilliant descriptions,lyrical and a terrific concept.

manisha said...

echoes all of the above!!! :P

FINALLY a prose from the missus...:D...
loved loved loved it! *cant tell nethng new to u, i knw u hv got all of those -sigh*

how ruthless of u to keep all these guys waiting....its 3 already..:D
post soon! really loved this one.

अर्शिया अली said...

Nice Blog. Congrats.
{ Treasurer-T & S }

Anonymous said...

Are you dead or what? It's almost been a month!

freudian slip said...

oy, finish fast. i really liked it. especially the lyric, cant wait for part 2

Anonymous said...

And for god's sake, show us SOME sign that you're alive!!!

Iggy said...

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Matangi Mawley said...

loved the style of writing! totally!
the shade of abstract writing was gr8!

Akshatha said...

Aunty! Update!

Quicksilver said...

am glad i stumbled upon this space. impressive stuff :)

Meghana Naidu said...

Thank you, all of you, for your appreciation and patience... i know its been long, but i think an unexplained absence should remain that, unexplained.

and as for the important thing, I am back. and it feels amazing to be here again.
all i need a little more time and patience to be "as good as new" again, at least thats the idea

PS: Episode 2 . the chords .
continues from where i left the story in Episode 1 . the overture .
the long wait is truly regretted

more soon


Anonymous said...

Oh hmm... Okay, ignore the "Explain Yourself" comment in the other post then...

Hope everything's okay!

Atrisa said...

Nice! It was quite visual. Makes you relate to your own experiences! You just described every relationship (minus the grim ending) :)

workhard said...

That is so well written.. you have created such a wonderful atmosphere wid words..

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Meghana Naidu said...

@ess: what can i say but thank you, ive pretty much said everything else ;)

@Pulkit: thank you, sleepless writer ;) yeah.. the idea started forming in my mind around that time what can i do! hope you loved the rest of it as well

@slash and akshata: all ill say is read read read! its all done now. Le finis

@amit: mmm thank you.

@Chinmayee: thank you :) im just glad it showed, without being overbearing i hope (!) what do you think of the whole deal now?

@meandering mind: most of them thought it was goign to be a classic blood&guts ;) but again, glad it showed through, the lack of a coldblooded motive... and dont fade away so.. i like to keep the twists coming ;)

Meghana Naidu said...

@mystic & Piper: thank you girls :) hope you enjoy the rest of it and hope i get to read what you have to say!

@Aparna: the suspense wasn't needed but unavoidable (circumstances et al) so does it match your prediction? tell me :)

@cattle-guy: thank you bullshee :) what didnt you understand though O_O read read there's lot more of it before the plot comes together

@mikimbizi: THAnk YOu. :)

@manisha: and finally you write here ;) thank you :)
and no im not ruthless. but i can tell you who is, Life, time, my mom and a few other names ;)

@ashriya: thanks

@unsung: how sweet and caring of you, your words.. they make me want to cry with all the tenderness they are filled with. silly boi :D

Meghana Naidu said...

@slippery kid : thanks! its all out there now, read read read ;)
@iggy: thank you! sorry it took so long for me to say that.. itll be up here soon i promise :) and where ARE you? :O
@matangi and quicksilver: thank you girls :) i have to catch up on reading both of you, i love what you write!

@girl who likes break-ins: its here, now read. :P
and just you wait till i get to your blog, aunty will feel like a pleasant breeze &%##!^^*(@)%#&^ , much love :D

@Atrisa: thanks girl :) i was trying to show how normal this relationship is... just like things between any two people who love each other are. in view of the context of the completed story your comment makes for interesting contemplation ;)

@workhard: thanks

@ all: the wait was more than a 'decent amount of time' but sometimes the "to BE CONTINUED" can become a death sentence. so here's a a little advice DONT USE IT.

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