Thank you, old friend

I've begun to miss my blog with a vengeance, 
as if it were a being in its own right;
and not something i created.

a hundred, a thousand, painstaking hours 
of pouring out words and poring over syntax,

as if it were something under a sheet of bullet proof glass;
meant to be stared at from a distance
and coveted. 

#11

[Hey you] 

and you 

and you 

and you 

and you 

you're late, 

too bad. 

i changed my mind. 

[The Song]

[10 to go]

#13

[Dilemmas and childhood solutions]

• Pkj: A day when we wake up from our dreams, realizing that life has become an upside down tumbler with us trapped inside... we search for ways outside... a small crevice enough to gasp in a lungful of air, the primordial factor of sustenance...
  
  
• eM: I'd think that someone who's the "victim" of your affection would be mighty special, But i really hate that girl
  Pkj: But, somehow i see in her all the virtues n vices i always wanted to live with,
  you know... me confusing?
  eM: no no youre not confusing me, because youre busy confusing yourself
  
  
• Pkj: is paar ya us paar... pakka...
  eM: god the extremist mentality!
  never moderate
  never mediocre
  drown or soar
  
  
• eM: ...should just be able to walk straight upto people you like and kiss them or something
  Pkj: man that would be so cool
  eM: yeah, dont know why more people dont think so...
  
  
• eM: you're not very bright. rather you're very dumb when it comes to this and i say this with a lot of affection, of course
  Pkj: of course you know i know its true, and i even know why.
  
  
• Pkj: totally screwed up, we are.
  eM: yeah! like your friend is standing at the edge of a well thinking, whether I should jump in or wait for things to get better. you come from behind and have this huge smile and then push me.
  
  
• Pkj: a 34 yr ol beauty.... who's still got some outrageous curves.... what more can i say? cost me 25k
  eM: that is beautiful
  *Sigh
  im so happy for you
  Pkj: thank-u thank-u :)
  
  
• eM: i have this urge to jump out of my skin.. to discard all that was and form a new vista.. a new perspective.
  Pkj: change your OS to vista, rather than shedding your skin. muhahahaha
  eM: I'd rather stay in my own skin than trade it for bad technology ;)
  

• Pkj: whats up with you ? We've been blabbering on about me all this while, sorry ;)
  eM: If im homeless will you feed me?
  
  

[The Song]

[12 to go]

#16

[Call me C***y]

• “Candy Is dandy, But liquor Is quicker”
  
  
• Approval cannot be trusted. It can be withdrawn at any time no matter what our track record has been. It is as nourishing of real growth as cotton candy. Yet many of us spend our lives pursuing it.”
  
  
• “If "ifs" and "buts" were candy and nuts, wouldn't it be a Merry Christmas?"
  
  
• “Come over to the dark side...we have candy”
  
  

[The Song]




[15 to go]

#21

[Number of]

• people i brazenly ignored
  7
• priorities i neglected
  5
• unnecessary people i allowed into my life
  4
  
• flimsy ideals i created and held onto
  3
• people i waited for
  2
• these things i wish i hadn't done
  21

[The Songs]



[20 to go]

#22

[I once said]

• "we deserve peace"
  
  
• "when calm is elusive, the nature of the storm is of no concern. for all storms ravage the same."
  
  
• "I am not getting out of the house today."
  
  
• "does thou posses, any balm for my frayed nerves?"
  
  
• "i painted my toe nails."
  
  
• "wierd=normal right?"
  
  
• "meow meow"
  
  
• "i made mixed vegetables, suuuuuuuuuper hit"
  
  
• "and to those with a bus to catch, everything is a waste of time..."
  "a bus... not a choo choo train"
  
  
• "all is doom
  doom is all"
  
  
• "so tell me.. if you can,
  what colours the sea?
  and what,
  gives flight to hidden stars?"
  
  
• "the time has passed,for frivolous niceties and sky gazing.
  for now i have to preen myself and take a bus.
  and you know what they say about people who have to catch a bus, dont you?"

[The Song]

[21 to go]

familiar

they still make me smile,
love, even though i dont;
you dont. maybe
its because i've,
forgotten all the
hurt. or maybe
its because i've,
forgiven what was
base. or maybe
its because i'm.
just downright stupid.


but you know better
than most 
don't you,
that none of those three
are true.
that it is because,
during all the hurt,
you just stopped 
being you.