my patience with words so
feeble, so little while my fingers long;
to tap those elusive strings of your.
furtive stirrings of my.
heart
feet; your
fingers
tracing permanent memories on my.
skin so perfect under the
caress of your.
thought.
I speak of things i feel, so primordial, that structured expression kills the essence. I speak of things i see. so easy to ignore, yet, so crucial I find release in the seeming disorder of my Poetry; the subtle signs i see.
17 smoke wisps:
Wonderful lines. But to me, the words seem to be floating in a transition. That leaves me a tad uncomfortable. No clue why.
Beautifully written. I love the way you break off each line in the middle of your expressions - it's like narrating a great story and pausing at all the right moments for better effect :)
Jesus. (You're back, yay)
I love this.
Finally!
after an interlude of a year and 3 months!
in the most interesting of circumstances, blogger ate up my first post in almost 15 months (and more for the ones who've kept track)
nevertheless, its good to be back :)
here is what the girls said when i first posted.
Zlaek: Wonderful lines. But to me, the words seem to be floating in a transition. That leaves me a tad uncomfortable. No clue why
kavya: Beautifully written. I love the way you break off each line in the middle of your expressions - it's like narrating a great story and pausing at all the right moments for better effect :)
Merin: Jesus. (You're back, yay)
I love this.
@chinmayee: another friend said it feels like im 'playing with water' although i know how different the both of you are looking at it
@kavya: thanks :) pausing at exactly *the* right moments. you know what i mean ;)
@merin: i feel yay! thank you :)
PS: you have been writing. sort of. i am proud.
@nandy. interlude, felt more like dismantling and re construction.
;)
Can the interlude extend to a song? Only time will tell :P
So good to see you back. And those words! they are like soft ripples on a sun flecked stream.
tris: oh you.
:)
hippy girl: i miss the ol teapot! i came and so much had changed!
but not you and your words
thank you
*blows kisses*
<3
It is so beautiful.. So damn beautiful.... No matter how many times I read it :)
This has a breathless beauty.
Why the fullstops after 'my' and 'your', though? I'm thinking of other flow-interruption techniques than the fullstop. Seems to me the fullstop is rather too specific. But the thought is stalled at this point, unfortunately.
(This is the author of The City in July, incidentally. Hello.)
Shamanth Huddar: it better, right? ;)
"the woven fabric is only as beautiful as the silken thread and the loving craft of the weaver"
:*
jason: breathless seems about right. :) thank you.
mondipa: incidently, this is the question i asked of a select few after first writing this.
'what do you think the "." means?'
how i would love to dissect and explain!
that, however, would ruin the composition.
instead i would say, given the obvious vein the poem is written in, the period is everything i "cannot mention in print"
PS: have i mentioned how much i love your work.
Sheesh, I love this. Is anyone singing this yet?
beautiful , lovers in a moment .
Hello! Meghana My first visit, will visit you again. Seriously, I thoroughly enjoyed your posts. Congrats for your work. If you wish to follow back that would be great I'm at http://nelsonsouzza.blogspot.com
Thanks for sharing!
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You whisper your name... but i can't hear it.