Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Monday, March 02, 2015

nirukti


I am 
nobody's daughter, nobody's 
sister and nobody's mother. 

In 
the flood of all destruction,  
I am 
the one thing that 
survives; while man's ego 
suckles its own thumb. 

I am 
without beginning 
or end, I am 
without body 
or form, I am 

the ultimate truth.

Friday, December 11, 2009

#21

[Number of]
  • people i brazenly ignored
    7
  • priorities i neglected
    5
  • unnecessary people i allowed into my life
    4
  • flimsy ideals i created and held onto
    3
  • people i waited for
    2
  • these things i wish i hadn't done
    21
[The Songs]



[20 to go]

Thursday, December 10, 2009

#22

[I once said]
  • "we deserve peace"

  • "when calm is elusive, the nature of the storm is of no concern. for all storms ravage the same."

  • "I am not getting out of the house today."

  • "does thou posses, any balm for my frayed nerves?"

  • "i painted my toe nails."

  • "wierd=normal right?"

  • "meow meow"

  • "i made mixed vegetables, suuuuuuuuuper hit"

  • "and to those with a bus to catch, everything is a waste of time..."
    "a bus... not a choo choo train"

  • "all is doom
    doom is all"

  • "so tell me.. if you can,
    what colours the sea?
    and what,
    gives flight to hidden stars?"

  • "the time has passed,for frivolous niceties and sky gazing.
    for now i have to preen myself and take a bus.
    and you know what they say about people who have to catch a bus, dont you?"


[The Song]







[21 to go]





Friday, October 09, 2009

*drum roll please*




Its not often that i get candid on my blog, 


yeah well, 
its not often that i say anything that anybody at all understands
and 
its not often that i wildly grin when im making a new post :D
So here's the deal
i'm happy 
:)
and frankly its about time!
so in honour of this joyous occasion, yada yada yada, let me present to you'll 
a song 
which, surprisingly, has me hooked
which is surprising, given the fact that, my kind of music, is very very different
(see playlist on left for more details)
hope it brings a smile home to you as well, if it doesn't then i hope it does so soon!
PS:
-to all those who've been reading me and been so very good to me i say, <3>
-to those who want to disown me based on this one,isolated, guilty pleasure song, i say, think again!
-to the ones who're thinking, and know, that im definitely evil, i say, even evil needs a little TLC from time to time ;)
-to those who come here and leave, oh so silently, i say, i know you're out there, show thyselves! or dont, actually, but please dont pretend like you don't know what's going ono_O
-to my lovelies who're thinking "sheesh so she's finally and utterly lost it!" i say


"everybody needs a little madness in their lives from time to time"
so anyway!
here it is
Movie:Get over it


Track: Dream of me 


  "because there's always a perfect song that'll perfectly say what you feel" 





Let me sleep
For when I sleep I dream that you're here
You're mine and all my fears are left behind
I float on air, the nightingale sings gentle lullabies
So let me close my eyes
And sleep, a chance to dream
So I can see the face I long to touch, to kiss
But only dreams can bring me this
so let the moon shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams, he'll dream of me
I hide beneath the clouds 
and whisper to the evening stars
They tell me love is just a dream away, dream away
A dream away
So let the moon shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams he'll dream of me
Oh dream of me

-
ta :)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

life spectrum



a single strand of light
falls broken.
on my hand, a million pieces.
and yet,
when i walk away,
its whole again.


the warmth i can sense,
it skims
so gently on my skin;
and yet,
when i draw away,
its cold again.

around me,
everything i see,
is real. or is it;

if its the light,
that makes it so?
tell me...
don't you know?




Thursday, September 10, 2009

. break of Reality .



Episode 1 . the overture .


The tiny vial seemed to rebel inside his clenched fist, throbbed like it had a heart beat.
“It needs to be done, I cannot and will not live like this anymore.”
He almost threw the bottle away, but instead the arm swept a smooth arc and it landed right side up on the counter, where it sat, still throbbing, as if feeding on the life-energy around it.
“two drops should do it”
 The first one fell even before he realized and the next one seemed freeze/just abowe/the#rioovktye#cup.
His vision misted.
*Those eyes* How he loved to seek them out amongst a hundred other familiar ones, how they’d widen, first with alarm, then annoyance and then soften with affectionate reproach before looking away.
There was always trust in them, trust and hope, but even those could not hide the streak of pride than ran behind.
and when they held hands for the first time, far away from the inquisitive looks, those tender fingers spoke of love, acceptance and longing.

It wasn’t soon before they built their cocoon and filled it with laughter, lattes , love and lazy afternoon conversations.
And it wasn’t too soon before it started.

It was low then, like the rumble before a engine fires up, but steadily it kicked into life and with it the disagreements, the fierce monologues and the scorching silences. It permeated every living second. The days disappeared under intense activity and the nights into forced resignation.
He saw it coming, he even asked to be left alone, repeatedly, so that they both could find some peace. But each time that defiant pride mowed him down.
And now it had to come to this.
“Raghav, I’m home. Are you in the kitchen? I smell lasagna”
Raghav wiped his hands with a fresh tissue and threw it into the dustbin where the empty bottle lay bleeding the last few drops of its vile blood into a old dishcloth.


continued...
Read the whole story here




. break of Reality .

Episode 2 . the chords.
...continued.

He let his hands fall to his sides; his eyes followed them down and stayed there, reluctant to look up. And as he waited, the rustles outside grew louder,

12...11...the click of the lock...10...9...8...7...the footsteps down the foyer
...6...5...the clink of the keys in the ‘key-urn’... and like with an audiotape that’s been played one too many times, he knew exactly what was coming next

...4...3... a deep breathe and the finishing touch to set the scene.

He jerked his head upright, almost as if physically extracting a smile from the coffers of pretense.

...2...breathe...

...1...smile

.


“Raghav! It IS lasagna!” how did you know! I’ve been having some serious cheese cravings ever since I wound up thefedder pitch today evening. You know how I hate their products, but this time they got, at least, the texture right... So we’re not completely faking the ad, thank god for that... ... ... ...”

Oh that again! Raghav phased out; He usually managed to keep a face of serious intent throughout the ramblings but today, well, today his mind was elsewhere.



... They were sitting on the old book shelf in the basement. It had rained for the first time in 5 whole months and hadn’t stopped for the last 3 days. Itwasn’t a cozy corner; far from it, it was the most uncomfortable piece of 'furniture' in the entire house, but they were both in love with it, in the weird basement with a weird window, just a long strip of plain glass ventilator that ran under the ceiling line and it opened out on to street level. From the 'vantage point' atop the old shelf you could see people walking outside, feet mostly, a few wheels every now and then, but the best part was that nobody could see in from the outside,

They both loved to watch the world go by, while they were inside, safe, enclosed, in the womb of the world they’d created, purist voyeurism, if such a term applied.

the room bore witness to their lives, to who they were...

Where make-believe became life and life became real.

...it all laid waiting for them to climb down those stairs. the walls, a collage of iridescent memories. Piece by piece, keepsakes, photographs, gifts, assorted knick-knacks; Little Notes of happiness, sorrow, anger, bliss, resentment, trust, hope and love tucked in between their myriad overtures of love to each other;

that picture taken in Philippines, the white beach, where blissfully naked they’d celebrated each other... the chords of the first song written for him, scattered poetry and ornate words, all overlaid with abstract scraps of art... as if the paint and the words had oozed out of the wall itself.

He flushed when he saw the broken jar on the abnormally wide skirting. How worthless it was when compared to what it saw that day! Trapped indoors for 4 days by incessant rains was as close to heaven as could be...

and with a start he realized he needed to take them away; before it all began to unfold, he had to take everything down from those walls. There was no time.

The thought filled him with sheer terror and uncharacteristically cutting into the monologue he said, “Why don’t you go get us some cake fudge and not the crumbly kind, I want the real deal... Please, would you?” His voice held a shade of desperation, which would have been caught immediately, if not for the irritation at having been cut short. Raghav pleaded again, “Go now, Ok, get some fudge and be back soon. I’ll lay the table by then.” That smile again; to smooth the wrinkles over.
His words received an affirmative nod, albeit a slightly crossed eyed one.

...receding steps, the familiar click of the lock...

He crept up to the door, turned the internal catch into place and rushed towards the stairs, but at the top of them, stopped again.


It wasn’t going to be easy; the move to dismantle their entire existence, to negate all proof, to remove every trace of what was, not much unlike an acid wash.

No, it wasn’t going to be easy. What would be easy however, would be giving in, to let the tears flow. At least then he wouldn’t feel so damn claustrophobic, like being inside an hourglass; the sands of sweet memories threatening to bury him, if he didn’t find the strength to stand up firm.

It wasn’t easy, not this, and neither what was to follow,

However, an acid wash doesn’t take too much time.


Before long he was back in the kitchen, this time, wiping the dinner plates to take out to the table.

...a few minutes, the screech of tires...

The familiar click-clink didn’t follow; instead he heard a muffled hammering on the door.It froze him with dread and dismay, and a dozen possibilities began to process but almost immediately he realized that he had locked the door from the inside.He hurried out, opened the door and broke into explanation before any questions could be asked. The excuses, however, were met with confusion and silence which soon gave way to amusement at Raghav’s disquiet. 

With a silent sigh of relief, and yet again the smile, he led the way to the table. 

continued...
Read the whole story here

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

...


I am what you seek

when you stand, at that evening window;
On the empty, winding highway;
In the summer breeze and the winter days
and pressed between the drying flowers.

When silent dusk turns to black,
I am what you search for,
on the bench in a lonely park;
In fading ink and the flickering flame
and under raindrops on a tired day.

When you smile at the twined hands;
On the bench in a lonely park;
I am what you want,
in lilting song and whispered words;
and under dew laden boughs of the ancient tree.

I am what dances in dying light;
and what sleeps under heavy eyes.
I am what dwells in lingering gazes;
and what remains of fleeting life.

I am
realisation, forgiveness,
companionship and hurt;
I am nostalgia, acceptance
anticipation and fear;
I am inspiration, yearning,
love, despair and hope;

I am truth and time;
I am the journey in your mind.
I am the one without identity;
and everything, that you want me to be.